Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
