so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
