so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
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