yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
