I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
