Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
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