Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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