Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
