dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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