I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
