my sisters under your porch take her home
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
