ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
