Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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