I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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