So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
