I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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