so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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