I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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