My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
