I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
