i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize