just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
