I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my shit smells like andre
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize