I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
