I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
