Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
