my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
