So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
