I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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