He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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