She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
