dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
