I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
