Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
The struggles of a small town man whore
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
