the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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