Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
