that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
