and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
