you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
