But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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