Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
