Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I am full of burrito and curiosity
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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