He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
