ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
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Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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