Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
