i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...