There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
