Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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