Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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