Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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