quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize