Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
It was confusing and full of hummus
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I supernannyed him into submission
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
