You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
