You can't special order awesome
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
