I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
he shaved USA in his pubs
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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