He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
